causes rats in laboratory cancer: my top ten answers as a Mom

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

my top ten answers as a Mom

Because.
I don't care. Ask your dad.
I am the mom. That's all you need to know.
You will know when we get there.
We have teh internets and google. Figure it out.
You are grounded until six months after you die.
It's only funny until someone loses an eye.
What am I, your slave?
No, you weren't adopted. But you still could be.
Don't glue your sister to anything, and do not glue anything to your sister.

4 comments:

Da Ripper1:49 PM
I love #10, it reminds me of my car one "Don't touch any part of your brother (or sister). Don't allow anything touching you to touch your brother (or sister). Don't get within 10 inches of your brother (or sister). I tried it with just the first one, and then I got "I'm not touching her....my shoe is!" and then I had to add the third one because it became fun to put your hand "just" in front of the other one's face.

My kids should have been lawyers, given their propensity to find the loopholes in general statements.

I used to use "because" after a no, a lot. But then they started complaining. So then I would go into a 20 or 30 minute explanation of why I said "no." It appears they became satisfied with "because."
ReplyDelete
Replies
Anonymous9:01 PM
11. bacon.

Marilyn
ReplyDelete
Replies
Anonymous9:14 PM
Also, has it occurred to you that Abe looks more than a little demento in his photo in your banner? Was someone rattling the kibble can when you shot that picture?

M
ReplyDelete
Replies
Julie9:55 PM
The thing about Abe...

he perhaps is a little demented. All I did to get that shot was say his name. That is how he looks at me.

And my kids thought your rules were really funny, Rip. I did too. I love the second part.
ReplyDelete
Replies

You like me! You really really like me!

Or maybe you just find me horribly annoying and are about to let me know. Go ahead, I can deal.

So, whatever, you know, leave a message. Thanks!!!

Okay -- updating my profile because I never removed the guinea pigs from it, even though they have been elsewhere for months.

Um...new obsession (HA) the elliptical trainer in the garage. I hate the thing, but today I burned 395 calories. I know. I so wanted to burn 5 more to make it an even 400, but then I would be at 50 minutes and 19 seconds, so I would have to make that round out to an even 51 minutes, and then the mileage could be rounded up to a more even number, and then the calories would be just a few away from 450, but then I could do just a few more seconds, then another few hundredths of a mile, and so on until finally I would fall off, hit my head, end up in the hospital with another nasty concussion, and gain weight because I am bedridden. It was so much easier to just burn the 395 calories.

We moved from the Sonoran desert of southern Arizona to the almost Arctic of Anchorage. I like the winters of Anchorage better than the summers of Tucson, so far.

Still have three kids, the oldest one is a freshman at the U of Arizona (dang it, now I will have to edit this again in a few months), the other two live on Fort Richardson with me and the dogs and the husband.

Other obsessions...my camera, my IPod Touch, my sewing machine. Fabric. Definitely fabric. Dishes. It's a thing females in my family have, an obsession with dishes. Pottery, and earthenware. Silver, definitely. Not crystal and china though. I am not a big fan of the fussy and overly ornate, and both crystal and china tend to fall into those categories, to me. Plus if I have delicate dishware, then I can't have the kids wash the dishes or put it in the dishwasher.

Other than that, I weigh too much, sleep too little, am very liberal, rabidly pro-choice, find it insane this country does not have universal health care, and think the world may be a better place with Obama at the helm. Oh, yeah, and chocolate. Much much chocolate.