Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What happened on Wednesday?

This is my new thing for Wednesdays...and I am actually doing it on Wednesdays (unlike my Favorite Photo Friday. On Saturday. theme, which is where I post a favorite photo, call it Friday, because it's a nice alliteration, but actually do it on Saturday...)

But because I am not a normal person, I will be reminiscing (telling stories on my kids and friends and family), as if THEY HAPPENED ON A WEDNESDAY. As if all the funny, pathetic, sad, humorous, boring, fascinating, wild, insane, tedious things have happened to me on a Wednesday.

One Wednesday morning, when Zach (okay, and here I must explain oldest rat child is named Zachary -- and is not a rat. Rat child is one of my terms of endearment for my lovely offspring -- Zachary is named Zachary, but is called Zach, Zachie, Zeke, Zacharias, Zacherbee, Zachalodeon, Skunk Boy of the Universe...we are very fond of the nickname. The reason I am mentioning this is that I call him Zeke all the time. I know Zeke is not an "official" nickname for Zachary. I don't care. Bottom line...Zachary=Zach=Zeke. Same rat child.)

Zach was maybe 6, and Thor was probably 4 (totally guessing ages here...), they were upstairs playing in their bedroom. Suddenly Zach came pounding down the stairs, yelling, "Mom! Thor called me an asshole!" And Thor was pounding down behind him, yelling, "Mom! I didn't mean to say asshole!"

Slight aside here -- we are an Army Family. Being around the Army means being around swearing. Our kids learned the swears young. They did not, however, usually use the swears...

The conversation continued like this...

Zach: But you did! You called me an asshole!

Thor: But I didn't mean to say asshole!

Zach: But you did. You said asshole!

Thor: Mom! I really really really did not mean to say asshole!

I, meanwhile, am standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching my two lovely little boys say "asshole" over and over . I couldn't help laughing. I finally got their attention -- by yelling, I am sure, they were deep into their argument -- and told them to please please please stop saying that word, and in the future perhaps not use it at all.

It's one of those Mom moments, when you know you should be correcting behavior, instituting a time out, adjusting attitudes, and instead you are laughing so hard you just have to let it slide.

Zach is the blonde one, Thor is the little redhead, and their cousin Esteban is the dark-haired one looking on. We used to live near Esteban, and it was so weird how when I asked who did something - tracked in mud, left toys out, spilled something -- Esteban was often the one who did it, even though he had not been at our house...Funnily enough, Zachary was often the culprit at Esteban's house, even when he had not been there for days.


  1. Hi. I'm Eve. I followed you over from Sarcastic Mom. I see my grandchildren in Zach and Thor. Around here Josh is the youngest (3 1/2, and as such gets all the blame. However, when the other kids are at school he has conversations with grandma and lets me know what everyone has been up to. He hasn't quite learned not to tell tales on the other kids and on himself. It's adorable, but can't last much longer. NOT being an army family we haven't had to deal with the bad words yet. I'm sure they'll pop up sometime. They always do. And being the grandma and not the mother, I'll probably laugh a lot. It's so much fun to watch your grandkids get your revenge for you.

  2. Thanks, Eve...I am looking forward to Grandma's revenge -- not for quite awile, since my kids are 17, 15 and 11...but I know someday they will call me and complain about their kids, and I will laugh and laugh.

    Another blogger and I have decided we should go to our children's houses with baggies of Oreos crumbs and styrofoam bits, throw them around and go home...

  3. Yep, knew all about them swear words. I did tell you the story about Bedroom, Bathroom and Hill, didn't I?

    I had a real hard time being the disciplinarian with my kids, because they cracked me up so much.

    And the nicknames...Joshua (aka Jay, Josh, Pheeb, J.W. You with the Face, etc.) and Sarah (aka Monkey, Spider Monkey, Face, Face of the Universe, Mutant Child {she is 6'1" Tall}, Sarah D, Sarah D. Whillikers, etc.) have often wondered why I bothered to name them at all, since I never use the same name twice.

    If Sarah had been a boy, her name would have been Jack wife drew a line in the sand for naming a girl Jacqueline Danielle (I even made up a good story about Mrs. Kennedy for the reason...she saw right through it). I settled for Sarah Danielle.

    I guess you can tell me drink of choice when I was a country musician.

  4. OK..I am going crazy now. We were in the car (me, hubby, 8 year old stepson)..we had seen a movie..Enchanted I think..and the little guy said which my eyes got big and I looked at him..his dad said, "What did you say?" one in the family curses around the children. He was trying to say another word and it kept coming out asswhole..and he was sincere..but I can't remember what he was trying to say.. Needless to say we all had the giggles..I had tears spreaming down my face as we were trying to get him not to say asswhole..we had to actually stop the car.
    How can you look at those little faces and punish them??
    You could have called Estaban and put him in time out for making Thor THINK the word LOL :-)

  5. Yeah, DA -- I had forgotten I once had "damn" hanging over my head for months, because I accidentally said it where my brother could hear me...

    MP --- I never thought of calling my sister and having her put Este in time out...That's really funny. My friend's son said "fff" instead of "t" for a while. They had to teach him that "trucks" were "semis", because he loved trucks and pointed them all out...that's right, he was yelling "truck! Truck! Truck!" but in his baby language, it came out "f***!"

  6. A guy I know once told me about the time he caught his 12 yr old son lying in bed with his 13 yr old girlfriend. Apparently, on his dad shouting at him, the son replied "It's OK dad, we've taken our shoes off."

  7. "We've taken our shoes off." Excellent answer...I am laughing. Of course, it wasn't my 12 yo laying there with a girl...

  8. Cage those potty mouths up already!

    I stole your whole nickname thing and used it as my post topic for today...cuz I'm an ***hole!


  9. Oh, that is hilarious!

    "Let's see how many times we can say asshole right in front of Mommy without getting in trouble!"

    You know, those are the times when it is SO HARD not to LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH.


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