My kids...

I adore my kids. But they make me crazy.

They throw up at the slightest provocation...Here's a comment I made to Veronica today about this very thing...

You want a bad motherhood moment? Next time Amy is making you crazy, just remember this: she did not become a teenager, eat a huge meal and throw up IN THE BATHTUB in the middle of the night. She did not stick her finger up her nose and upset her sister so much she threw up all over the dining room carpet. She did not get so nauseated by dog sick that she threw up on the carpeting, the kitchen floor, the kitchen cabinet, the bathroom floor, the rug in the bathroom, the vanity, and the side of the toilet, leaving you to clean up both dog and kid sick.

Quite a lot of my bad mommyhood moments involve puke. I adore my children…

Yeah. Tess threw up because Zach stuck his finger up his nose. We had quite a streak with vomit for a while. The same winter Zach threw up in the tub -- and oh my god that was a joy to clean up, I promise you -- Tess and Thor both got the flu and threw up all over. The carpet, the pillows, the blankets, bedspreads, sheets, stuffed animals...and I had an European washing machine that could take as long as two and a half hours to run one load.

This tendency toward vomit started young for my kids...Thor and I came home and found the dog had pooped on the rug (Thor was just a couple years old at the time). Thor saw it and started gagging. I sent him off to the kitchen because I didn't want to clean up poop and puke. I started to clean up after the dog, but heard little retching noises -- Thor had snuck around the back of the couch and was standing there staring at the poo and gagging. Lovely rat child, that one.

Zach had trouble for a couple years with vomiting...after finally getting him to a pediatric gastroenterologist who gave him a colonoscopy and an endoscopy, he was diagnosed with a low grade infection in his intestines. He would throw up in the morning sometimes, and because the standard for our district is 24 hours free from vomiting before returning to school, he missed a lot of school.

Last week Mojo threw up on my bed.

I loathe vomit.