Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: The Mini Edition

Okay. I realize I am going to offend the hell out of people with this particular thirteen, so I am sorry if I offend you here. I just don't like mini vans. It does not mean I think less of you if you drive one. (However, if you drive one of those ridiculous pickups with the enormous lift kits so you are ten feet off the ground, well, yeah, I tend to make fun of those...)

Lots of people get all snotty about SUV's, especially the big ones. I drive a big SUV. I really don't care if you don't like it. You really should not care if I don't like mini vans. Life is not one size fits all. However, if I have offended you deeply, please feel free to blast me in the comments. But before you do, think about this. This is a list about why I don't drive a mini van, it's not why I think mini vans or the people who drive them are stupid -- I do not think mini vans nor the people who choose them are stupid. I just don't want to drive one, and this is why:

Thirteen Reasons I Don't Drive a Mini-Van.

  1. It's a mini van.
  2. I don't do diminutives. I don't like calling women words that end in -ess, like actress and waitress. Besides, there is nothing diminutive about a mini van.
  3. Not enough space in the back. I drive a Suburban. There's lots of room behind the back seat. $250 worth of groceries space. Luggage for five people space. Two huge dogs space.
  4. Every woman and her dog drives a mini van.
  5. I am not a soccer mom. (This one is gonna piss some people off. I am not suggesting that everyone who drives a mini van is a soccer mom. I just don't like being generalized.)
  6. My husband and I were arguing about which one of us would have to drive the mini van six months before we were going to buy one. We didn't even own one yet, and we were already arguing about who had to drive it. That is not good for marital harmony. So we bought the Suburban instead.
  7. I love my Suburban. Driving a mini van now would be like switching from dark chocolate to those cheap ass Easter egg chocolates.
  8. Not big enough. I rented a ten to fifteen passenger van several times when family visited while we lived in Europe. I loved driving it. I like driving big vehicles. Maybe it's because I learned to drive in my parents' big old station wagons. The seventies era mini vans.
  9. It's a mini van.
  10. I absolutely loath with my entire being those giant hatchback doors. They are frequently awkward and unwieldy. My 'Burb has the barn doors. I like those very much better.
  11. See that big dog right there? He's not very graceful. He doesn't do well standing on car seats, but he has to see out the windows. So the 'Burb is perfect for him -- I can fold down the middle seats and he has a stable place to stand and look out the windows.
  12. It's still a mini van...
  13. I adore my Suburban. It's old and beat up and the driver's side side view mirror is held on with duct tape and it has 150,000 miles on it. I have to roll down the window to open the door because the driver's door handle has snapped off. But it runs great, it has a CD player, and my dogs fit in it.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


  1. That was cute! I don't have a minivan, but I suppose if I had kids, I'd get one and probably even love it for functionality (and probably hate it for all the other reasons...). Right now, anything that doesn't cost $700 per second to keep filled with gas is my favorite.

  2. I don't do the van thing, either. I grew up as a passenger in a Utility Van in the 1970s. Cars are me. I enjoyed this post.

  3. I joined the minivan brigade last year, couldn't find a good conversion that was used, so settled for an Oldsmobile Silhoutte, which promptly lost the transmission.
    Nice TT, hope you'll pop by mine.

  4. you make your point well. i'm so with you! i can't stand minivans - they way they look mostly, but i think it's cause what they stand for, so to speak; in other words, who's in them. i see them on the roads even and get irritable. i wanna play bumper-car with them. yukko! yes. you said it. they're minivans. that's it.

    i posted my TT Too. I don't think you visited mine :? *scratching my head* hint hint

  5. Anonymous11:48 AM

    I am SO offended. Wait. No, that's residual from something else. I dislike all cars over a certain size, but as you say it's all about personal preference. My wife drives a blazer, but I don't care for the way my attitude shifts when I get behind the wheel of it, so I avoid driving it.

  6. Oh no. We now have definitive proof that Julie and I are actually not the same person.


    I used to think like you. I had a tiny little Saturn that I loved to zip around in. Nooooo way was I going to be one of "those" people.

    We got our van right after Noah was born and I love it. It's easy to drive, the gas bill doesn't kill us, we can fit A TON of stuff in it, it runs like a dream, and I have no regrets. Sure I look like a dork in it, but I AM a dork so it's ok. Also, who would ever steal this thing?? No one. Perfect. I took 3 adults, 2 teens, 1 kid, and a baby + all the luggage and contraptions from Kansas City to South Dakota and we all had plenty of room.

    Good thing I love you or your whole post would be fightin' words.

  7. We used to have a suburban. We loved our suburban. But it was a Seventies suburban. And they didn't used to paint those things too good. And ours got eaten by a rust monster.

  8. LOL! And here I am wanting to get a mini van! Funny list...

  9. By the way...thanks for visiting my blog...and come back anytime! ;)

  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  11. I know, Tasina...

    I am fully aware that my aversion to owning a mini van is not logical. I know I would probably like one if I got one (although I had a beige car and I hated it, because it was just so beige, and I am not a beige person -- every vehicle I have had since that one has been red, and I have loved them all.)

    I don't actually think they are dorky. I just don't think they are me.

    Actually I figured it out, and if I traded in the 'Burb for a sedan or mini van I would save about $450 a year in gasoline -- figuring I would use about 150 gallons less each year (the 'Burb gets about 18 mpg, and I don't drive that much). That's not enough to make me want to start making car payments again.

    Okay. I am thinking I am just digging myself in deeper here;)...

    So now we know we are not the same person, unless we are the same person in alternative and parallel universes...

  12. I love this photo of your dog.

  13. Thanks for your comment on my blog!

    Im so luvin your blog, you have some really awesome stuff here, and super cool photos!!!

    I'm gonna link you!

  14. Well now I'm all confused again because my last three vehicles have been red as well.

    BTW I sent you something to your spammy mail because I are 'toopid.


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