Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Things that are very very wrong.

Burger King's Loaded Steakhouse Burger. It has what they call baked potato topping, but it's really a layer of mashed potatoes on a BBQ bacon cheeseburger.

What happens when you put mashed potatoes on a burger? It ends up with a texture like a soggy white bread bun. You know that really cheap white bread that if you squish it, it balls up into a pasty gooey mess? Like that on a burger.

It's very wrong. I didn't realize when I ordered it that's what I was getting. Thor and I were at the drive-thru, and Thor was telling me all about something. Thor can talk sometimes. Really really talk endlessly and off on tangents and once in a while horrible things happen to me because I am trying to be a good mom and actually listen to what the boy is saying. (Other times I use the old trick of throwing in enough "uh huh"s and "whoa"s to make him think I am listening, although when I have to go "wait, what?", because I suddenly realize I may have just agreed to something that will come back to haunt me, he figures it out...)

So he was telling me something and I was too lazy to really read the menu, and the radio was on, and I wanted to hurry up and order so I could roll the window back up because while I don't mind it being ten degrees out, I don't want it to be ten degrees in the Suburban, and I ordered quickly and fairly blindly, and thus ended up with the mashed potato (or mashed potatoe, if you are Dan Quayle, and how happy must he be to no longer be the most incomprehensible choice for Vice Presidential candidate in the last fifty years...) burger. ugh.

Burger King has done some good things. Onion rings that are actually lower in fat than their french fries, for one, although one container of that "Zesty Onion Ring Dipping Sauce" has FIFTEEN grams of fat, which totally negates the two grams of fat you saved by ordering the rings in the first place.

And that Burger King. Creepy yet strangely likeable...
my hero. Pictures, Images and Photos

Also, it is getting dark, and it's only 4:21 pm. (I know it's not 4:21 pm according to the time stamp on this posting, but I am writing this Tuesday to post Wednesday. Because that way, I am one more day into my goal of posting something pretty much every day so my sister doesn't hassle me about how I am not writing anything on my blog.) Tess goes to school at 9 am, and it is just getting light, and when she gets home at 3:30, it is getting dark. We have somewhere around six hours of daylight these days, and since we are just a couple weeks from the winter solstice, that's pretty close to as short as the days will get.

I have a Happy Light now, to combat those SAD tendencies. I just turn it on for a while in the morning, and it's like the sun is shining. If the sun was made of fluorescent tubes and in a box on my kitchen counter.

There are lots more things that are wrong, like global warming and leg warmers making a comeback and High School Musical Three and german chocolate cake and Mounds bars (destroying chocolate by mixing it with coconut is just wrong. Don't deny it. You may claim it tastes good, but you know it really is an abomination against nature.) but I have a washer full of wet t shirts and undies that are not going to fling themselves into the dryer, so you will have to wait for the next installment of things that are very very wrong to find out more about them.

I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. I really really really am not known for my organizational skills or my memory. In fact this could be the only posting ever about things that are very very wrong. And that would be a shame, I know.

Thor read this, and I was trying to explain Dan Quayle to Thor and Tess...the best I could come up with is that he was such a political lightweight that if you handed him a helium balloon he would drift off, but compared to Sarah Palin he is Ghandhi, MLK, jr, and Moses all rolled into one. Yeah. I am not a fan of our dear governor...

10 comments:

  1. You made me giggle. I haven't tried the burger, but I still might, even with the warning, but the whole explaining about Quayle as compared to Palin cracked me up.

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  2. Maggie...save your self about four bucks. Buy a regular cheeseburger and a box of instant mashed potatoes and combine. Trust me on this one.

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  3. Finally! An Alaskan who doesn't want to lick Palin's butt crack! I don't go to Burger King, probably only had their food twice in my life. But I'm intrigued by the onion rings. I don't like dipping sauce anyway (just a lil mustard), so I might have to give those a whirl!

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  4. Hah! THAT didn't take long. But I just looked up and saw Cat's comment and the start of that one just cracked me up. but then the visual set in and I did a mental EEEEWWWWWWWWW.

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  5. Lceel's comment cracks me up too!
    Thanks for the explanation about Dan Quale, I think I understand now! And about burgers: I think I get two burgers a year ( in a good year that is!) I think I would prefer the mash from the box, although I don't really "do" that either!

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  6. That potato burger sounds bad. Thanks for the warning. I don't care much for their onion rings since I like ones made with real slices of onions and not those diced up and form into fake rings. Tony Roma's used to have a great fried onion loaf, but changed it somehow and ruined it. Maybe that's why there are no more Tony Roma's in Arizona. Good onion rings are found at Buddy's Grill.

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  7. Maggie -- considering all the delicious food you make and photograph -- I wonder how many keyboards have been destroyed by drool due to your weekly winners -- you probably wouldn't want to have the instant mashed. So make yourself a really goood burger and some mashed potatoes and then put a little bit of mashed on one bite of the sandwich. Or "accidentally" order one for Tom and snag a bite of it.

    Cat -- there are Burger Kings on Army posts all over the world, so if I never had another BK, I could die happy. But there's a BK about five minutes from our quarters so we end up there occasionally.

    Lou -- yup. But it's true. I really really really don't want to do what Cat said. I am definitely not a fan of the lady.

    Jientje -- I never had instant mashed until my son wanted to try them, and the kids like the idea of being able to have mashed potatoes for an after school snack. Yes, they are weird. I find the mash from the box handy though, when I am making shepherd's pie and am short on the real potato, since I make it from leftovers generally.

    Vickie, Vickie, Vickie. Talking to me about food in Tucson. How mean. Reminds me of El Charro and In 'n Out Burger and that Chinese place...I think you are right about Mr T not liking it here. I was talking to a couple of women here who have Chihuahuas who said their dogs really don't like the snow and cold.

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  8. You crack me up with your comment then all the crack jokes in the comments.

    That burger for BK does sound nasty though. I don't eat there often, so maybe it will be gone by the time I'm there again. (We only have BK when we are flying somewhere because it is the handy fast food stop on the way to the airport.)

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