Saturday, December 22, 2007

All you other moms can just give up.

In fact no doubt at all I am the best gamer Mom EVER. EVER. Seriously.

Not only did I let Thor drag me to EB Games at midnight to get HALO3, so he could have it the second it was released...I bought TWO, not one, but TWO of the legendary for each boy with the damn MasterChief helmets...Which by the way are now proudly displayed on either side of the TV. On the half bookcases full of DVD's. The bookcases I had just reorganized and gotten the stuff off the top, gotten all the DVD's back into the right cases and the loose ones put away -- why is it so freaking hard for the children to understand the concept of putting the damn DVD back in the right case? But I digress. So I had a music box and a couple of pretty stained glass candleholders on top of said bookcases. It looked grown-up and nice for 47 seconds. But now, I have MasterChief staring at me in stereo every time I sit down to watch TV in the family room. And the most funnest part of HALO3 is not the MasterChief ogling me, but rather the replay feature. So the rat children can save and replay every second of a 27 minute long game for me. With rewindability. Which they use. A lot. Let me just say "woot."

Next, I found ROCK BAND!!!1!!!!1!!!11! for the 360. A feat equal to scaling Mount Everest. And just as expensive. (Okay, so a feat equal to scaling Mount Rainier, and more expensive than a good pair of hiking boots.) I didn't even know how AWESOME ROCK BAND!!!!!!!1!1!!!!1!! is, but apparently it is better than sex, chocolate cake, Robert Redford and school holidays. (That is not a direct quote from the kidlets, who probably don't even know who Robert Redford is, and if they do, it is as a geezer. ) The boys are thrilled Tess is getting ROCK BAND !!!!!!111!!!!!! for Christmas...

What they are completely unaware of is this. Yesterday, just to complete my title as Best Gamer Mom EVAH, I found GUITAR HERO III. The game my children think is completely sold out. Everywhere. The game they have been talking about for a couple of months. (I don't understand why they didn't make me pre-order it. I mean, we pre-ordered HALO3 more than a YEAR before it was released. Before they even announced a release date. We pre-ordered this bizarre Japanese game* -- a game so obscure Thor was the only person to pre-order it. A game so obscure Thor may have been the only one to buy it. But GUITAR HERO III? We couldn't pre-order a game that is a ton of fun and going to be hugely popular and sold out. That would make sense....) The game that is sold out in every store in Tucson, except the exchange on Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. Where we happened to be yesterday. And got it. And didn't pay any sales tax on it either. Triple Woot!

And, bonus for me, besides being the Best Gamer Mom EVAH, I actually like playing video games, and I really liked playing GUITAR HERO (Zeke's friend brought it over one day...).

*The obscure Japanese game...Chulip. A game so Japanese, so bizarre, I cannot explain it, other than to tell you that you must run around looking for things and kissing people. Yes, the main character kisses people. People whom he follows around waiting for them to be not pissed off. Because they will kill him if he kisses them when they are annoyed. He can also die if he pulls poop out a garbage can. (You have to dig through the trash looking for things to sell. But poop has deadly qualities, it seems. I told you, it is very strange and bizarre.)

Hey. I am such a Super Gamer Mom I actually take the time to find out about (or I actually listen part of the time when Thor tells me) about their endless video games. I am the Best Gamer Mom EVAH...


  1. *Bows down in awe to the GREATEST GAMER MOM EVAH*

  2. I will give up the title of "Best Gamer Parent" as although I hold the male half of said title, I keep the games and play 'em myself!!

    Halo 3 rocks.

    OK, so does Rock Band. My boy was playing it the other day, and I appreciate some of the factors in it.

    I was Christmas Shopping yesterday and saw a copy of Guitar Hero III and told my bride, I ought to buy this and send it to Joools as it appears to be sold out in Tucson (of course, nothing is sold out here in the land of the balmy consumer...or is that the balmy land of the consumer). I was gonna email today to see if you still wanted it, and pick it up Monday when I do my annual Christmas Shopping with my daughter (it is a tradition). I know...never mind!

    I'll post the pic of my daughter and I, plus a couple of others, when I figure out how to do it without opening a link to my entire Photobucket account.

    I am so lame.

    Merry Christmas

  3. Okay, from this non-parent, I'll give you the best gamer mom award!


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