Friday, March 12, 2010

I am not always a huge fan of machines...

When the problem is caused by a machine, here are my steps:
Turn it off. Unplug it. Turn it back on.

Turn it off, unplug it, kick it, turn it back on.

Turn it off,unplug it, hurl it across the yard/room/street, look
around to see if anyone noticed, go pick it up, plug it back in, turn
it on, whack it really hard with my hand, get really pissed cause
that's stupid and painful, call it foul and vile names, type in
insults if it has a keyboard.

Dig through my toolbox -- which is inevitably filled with loose
screws, handleless screwdrivers, screwdriverless handles, those stupid
pads that are supposed to stick to the bottom of chair legs but in
reality somehow end up stuck to the dog, nails that are too bent and
dull to pound into anything harder than styrofoam, the hammer with the
mysteriously sticky handle, the random screws and bits of wood left
over from Ikea flat packs, and all the other tool detritus that my
husband cannot throw away but doesn't want to put in his own tidy tool
tower -- give up, go raid my husband's tool cathedral, and take the
stupid machine apart.

Buy new machine because I am much better at disassembly than putting
stuff back together.

Get husband to do whatever it was I was originally trying to do, since
by this point I have thought of 47 other things to do. Or suggest to
my kids that using this tool is really fun, and they should try it
(Thank you Tom Sawyer).


  1. You go through an awful lot of trouble! I skip the previous steps and just ask my hubs to fix it, because I'm even worse than you are. At least you TRY!!

  2. I put all the tools under lock and key - because LM (Love Muffin) would do JUST LIKE YOU if she could. But she can't. Because only I have the key. :)


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